Praise the lord, I finally blackmailed, cried, begged and whimpered a surgeon into the ardeous, his skill absolutely unworthy task of cutting open the base joint of my right big toe and to remove the bursitis.
Only took 7 years. ("It´s not that big, it´s only the position that hurts so much" Thanks alot, idiots)
So, on Wednesday morning, I´ll get up, be a happy, giddy girl and hope uh... I´ll sleep through surgery.
Not like last time in January.
Did I mention? When they removed the nails and wires from my previously broken ellbow (double olecranon fracture July 17th last year)... I woke up. In the middle of surgery....
In hind sight funny as hell. I scared some surgeons to death. Hehe
Wasn´t that funny, when it happened.
Tthough, thanks to my really fucked up relation to pain, I just did, what there is to do, when you have a big cut and hole in your arm. Screamed.
Let it come. Open your arms. Say hello and scream.
Nothing like it.
Oh yeah, it hurt like hell, but there is nothing as powerful as true pain. At least, when you know, it´s going to end at some point.
When you don´t, it´s just grating on your nerves and you´re willing to do everything to stop it. Everything
At some point, death will always become and option.
Anyways. This pain will end on Wednesday.
The anesthesiologist, had this twitch of panic in his eyes, when he checked my file. Same hospital as in January.
He paled. Then he had this very careful smile. Which turned even more careful, when I smiled back.
This kind of smile, you use with dangerous animals, kids and madmen.
I think I will sleep through this time. You´ll be the first to know on the net ;)
PS: Am I the only one who thinks, my keyboard battery is about to die. Somehow I´m missing one third of letters ^^